Once upon a time, in a land far away there was a noble king by the name of Augustus Gloop (plagerism oh yeah). He was a good and kindly king, who ruled over his domain with a firm yet just hand. The people of the land loved their king dearly and were loyal to him, but an almost negligible number were growing weary of the lack of action in their lives due to the crime rate being at an all time low. These few decided to form an underground movement called De la Violemente. An association built on the premise that a violent nature makes for a more interesting existence, these fools made it their business to find the weak and needy in the kingdom and make their lives a living hell. This they acheived by following them home and pouncing on them in their sleep, torturing the poor souls by tying them up, covering their heads with a rubber bag, inserting a tube connected to a special one off pair of pants and farting until the individual either passed out or died from the vile fumes. If this does not sound too bad, please take note that the entire proceedings were prepared for by digesting 4 peices of hot and spicy chicken from KFC, 1 Wendy's dog'n'shake, 2 microwaveable Dim Sim from McCain's, 2 Mrs Mac's party pies and 3 bowls of fesenjoon over the course of the day, all washed down with a juice of asparagus. Yummy. The worst part of their plan of course was Billy. While they carried out their actions, Billy played moonriver on the Viola, two octaves too high. A sick pun on both their group name and the song name, Billy would finish by mooning the poor soul. Thinks that's funny? Billy was morbidly obese. Not so funny now huh? Anyway, long story short, three years down the track the people were plagued by this group, and finally the underground movement came out in the open and made themselves known. They wanted power to rule the land, and they wanted it now.
It is now time to introduce to the reader our hero. In the dead of night, he dances to the rescue. They call him Salsa Sam.
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